So, I have a question that pops up now and then.

How come sometimes I make a change and it starts going great and then a week later the old way has returned?

O.K., I’ve got this. This happens to me sometimes as well. Here is what I think will be helpful.

Our habits dictate the likelihood that any one thing or another will stay in our life vs leave our life.

If your habits support the new way, it is possible and even likely that it will stay if the opportunity arises, especially if willpower is applied long enough for habits to take over the supporting role.

If your habits do not support the new way, it will bounce off and fall away as soon as will power is not used.

Ok then, where does that leave me?

Habits form to support whatever you think about most. Think about your life in general and then seasonally. Notice how seasonally brings about greater detail. Consider your life daily and then compare it to situations that might occur. Again, the details get richer.

The things you will think about will tend to be the things actually happening to you and around you in your life.

For example, do you ever think about skiing through an avalanche? Probably not. It is not likely that anyone reading this has developed the habits associated with skiing through an avalanche. This means that even if the opportunity to ski through avalanches is offered, it isn’t likely that you will be doing it as a way of being in the world.

Think about taking a shower. Suddenly you have a very good idea about this undertaking, and you probably do it daily without even thinking about it.

The answer then might be to THINK ABOUT LIFE INCLUDING THE NEW WAY OF BEING. Just think about it for a few days. Get familiar with the new idea. Or rather, get familiar with actually living life with the ‘new way’ being normal.

A better example of habits might be winning the lottery. How about $500 million after taxes. Oh CRAP!! What do we do now?

People who win the lottery usually go through terrible difficulties before losing it all and maybe even going bankrupt. Is it because they are stupid? Maybe, but probably no more stupid than anyone else. The difference is habits. Do you have the habits that will support having $500 million? If not, it won’t likely be staying long.

It can be more hassle than we can even attempt to imagine trying to develop the habits that will support $500 million while you are working at your job at lab or the firm or facility.

Yeah. Some habits change differently than at first seen.

Luckily, by using our imagination to create enough of a scenario to elicit an emotion, that is enough to start modifying or deleting old habits or start building new habits.

Building new habits will use evolution to remove and change most of the unnecessary habits to make room for the new ones. Adding a new habit can shake things up until the kinks are worked out. During this time a bunch of other habits were displaced, often never heard from again. Sadly, some of them were important such as the habits that seem unimportant, yet they are the habits that support our mental, physical, and emotional health.

Sometimes it takes years to fall from our own grace, but the day comes when we realize and recognize that some area of our life, public or private, large or small, has become ridiculous or untenable.

In the old social experiment where 100 people were stripped of their money, in one year, all had returned to their original financial standing in comparison to the others in the experiment.

Wealthy people do not have habits that support poverty. It is nearly impossible to keep a wealthy person broke for long because her habits will automatically start supporting the level of wealth that is natural.

So, what do we do?

The solution seems to be ‘practicing’ the new way.

Imagine some matter in life that could be improved. Imagine it being the way you want it to be.

Imaging it clearly enough to begin feeling the feelings associated with it being true.

That’s it.

Now repeat that thought and thoughts like it and your habits will begin shifting to support that idea.

There is a bit of a lag from the time you start doing this and when your habits have shifted enough to start supporting the new way, but the shifts will start.

How perfect do I have to be? Just doing it will start the process. If you think the new thought MORE than the old thought, the new thought will win out.

What if I want to change the habit now? Plan on a few bumps and fall backs in the beginning. The effort to start will take a LOT of thinking. Your habits might not be strong enough in the beginning to hold the new way, but SOME new habits will be created, and some strengthened. Do this a few times and your habits will start to support your new way.

Any more thoughts or questions about this idea?

The Stress Relief Guy